I, Pirate
by MarcusJuniusBrutus
Summary: Diary of James Norrington, sort of AU, post AWE. The crew of the "Black Pearl" goes privateering. POTC/Master and Commander crossover.
1. Beginnings of a Diary

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters in this or subsequent chapters. Obviously.

**Summary:** Fragments of a diary belonging to James Norrington. Editors notes inserted in brackets.

Beginnings of a Diary

September 15, 1718

Life aboard the _Black Pearl_ is always precarious, especially for her two captains. Usually, Captain Barbossa is in charge of the starboard side, while Captain Sparrow orders about the crew along the larboard. This arrangement changes only when one manages to seize control for a time… but only for a time. Both captains are always clever enough to make it back somehow, and then they go on as though nothing has changed.

"Swab down _my_ half of the ship, ya scurvy dogs!" Barbossa will growl when Sparrow is below decks.

The crew only shifts over until the Captains switch places.

"Did I not tell you I wanted my ship ship-shape and shining?" An accusing finger points at the half-swabbed left side of the vessel.

How the others endure it, I haven't the faintest notion. Perhaps they're simply getting old and dependent on that Fountain of Youth water the captains got their filthy hands on. Though I've drunk it myself, that's not why I signed on (for the second time around). I simply have no where else to go.

----

"_Well, bless my bottles of rum! If it isn't Admiral James Norrington alive and well," grinned Captain Sparrow when he stumbled across me in Tortuga (for the second time around)._

"_Not Admiral anymore, I'm afraid. I was only appointed under Lord Beckett. Since his death and embarrassing defeat, everyone involved with him has been dismissed and disgraced."_

"_Bad luck, mate. Tell you what: buy me a rum, and I may just give you a job."_

----

And that's how it happened that I am once again crewing the _Black Pearl_ as a filthy, rotten, scoundrel of a pirate.

When I first returned to the _Pearl_, I recognized many of my fellows; they, for their part, were all convinced of my demise. This was probably due to Miss Elizabeth Swann's inability to distinguish a dead man from a living one.

Ah, well, one must make allowances for such a delicate creature so unused to death. After all, I did receive a fairly nasty sword wound.

Must dash. Captains calling all hands to deck.

----

September 16

Where did I leave off yesterday? Ah, yes. The captains.

Well, we all scurried up as we were told. Of course, we all stayed pretty much in the middle of the vessel so as not to show preference for one captain over the other (by far the most ridiculous experience I have ever taken part in). For once, they had decided to let the crew in on their plans without prompting.

"We're goin' to the Indian Ocean," Sparrow announced triumphantly. The crew murmured, and Barbossa explained,

"Our age is dyin' – the golden age of piracy is comin' to nothing."

"So we've decided to high-tail it somewhere where the going's good…"

"…and where we won't have as many Navy ships breathin' on our tail."

Barbossa looked pointedly at me as he said "Navy," but most of the crew pretended not to notice. They don't really hold anything against me; I work as hard as any man to earn my keep.

That was the extent of the message, in any case, and that said, they sent us all back to work.

I admit: I'm almost looking forward to this. The Indian Ocean… It's bound to be exciting.

----

January 22, 1719

The Indian Ocean is dull to no end. As such, I have nothing more to write today or any day in the perceivable future.

----

February 5

Cpt. Sparrow inexplicably "forgotten" on shore.

----

February 17

Today Cpt. Sparrow returned… with a new tattoo on the bottom of his foot. Now Cpt. Barbossa not to be found. Crew says sharks may have got him.

----

February 28

Return of Barbossa… with _extraordinarily_ large hat.


	2. Cabin Fever

**Disclaimer/Summary:** See first chapter.

Cabin Fever

March 3

Apparently, pirating is no longer a lucrative trade, even in the Indian Ocean. Besides the fierce competition, I fear Captains Sparrow and Barbossa fiercely underestimated the naval presence of Great Britain.

As a result, we have all become "privateers." Most of the uneducated crew members did not seem to know the difference between pirates and privateers. "Privateers receive permission from one country to raid vessels from another," I told the main body as we gathered below decks last night. "This makes it more or less legal."

Ragetti blinked his great wooden eye. Pintel scratched his head. I sighed.

"You can't be hanged as a privateer."

This revelation was greeted by many "oohs" and "ahhs."

"Why ain't we turned privateer 'fore now?" Pintel demanded.

"It restricts the number of ships that we can attack." In our case, the captains elected to attack British ships on behalf of the French.

"Well, that's not good."

"Needs must, gentlemen," Sparrow said, sticking his head out of his cabin door. And that was the end of that.

----

March 4

Our change in profession seems to have put a damper on the crew's musical enthusiasm. The problem, of course, is that any place the word "pirate" is to be found in any of their songs, they must replace it with "privateer." Try as they might, they can't seem to make this work except when drunk.

I hate drunk pirates.

----

[Here many, many pages seem to be missing. Perhaps ripped out in a drunken fit?

----

January 3, 1805

Sparrow has had enough skulking about the Indian Ocean, and we're headed East into the Pacific. Along the way, we'll pick up Barbossa, who just sent word from the Philippines that he has Sparrow's compass.

----

March 12

The wind died and shows no sign of picking up; I believe it has something to do with the climate in the doldrums.

----

March 16

One of the cabin boys went missing last night… Tom something. No one saw him fall overboard, and he's certainly not on board ship. The only one who seems to know is Barbossa's monkey, and he's not talking.

----

March 18

Still in the doldrums.

The monkey is looking at me strangely. Could it have picked up cannibalistic habits, I wonder?

----

March 20

I'm going to kill the monkey! Must poison a banana.

----

March 21

No bananas to be found. Perhaps I could poison myself and then wait for it to eat me. _Then_ it would surely die.

----

March 22

Am reluctant to be haunted by cannibalistic monkey-ghost. Have taken no action as of yet.


	3. Introducing the Surprise

**Disclaimer/Summary:** See first chapter.

Introducing the _Surprise_

March 24

Wind's back.

On a somewhat related note, it has occurred to me that we have no doctor on this vessel. Perhaps we should take steps to remedy that. No pun intended.

Also, the crew reminded me today that Jack (the Monkey) is already undead, and if I had tried to kill it during my recent fit of cabin fever, I would have been unsuccessful. Now, I must congratulate myself on my restraint.

About that doctor…

----

March 25

"A doctor? A respectable tradesman? On _my ship_?"

In my recently obtained position of First Mate, I got stronger privileges than others when it came to speaking my mind. "We can keep him on Barbossa's half."

Sparrow glared at Barbossa. "You agree with him?"

"I'm not immortal anymore. Just young."

Sparrow considered.

"In any case," I added, "a doctor can't be any worse than a monkey."

"Find a good one, and we'll keep 'im."

----

June 13

We have successfully raided our first Pacific ships in quite a few years. The crew of one particular ship also mentioned a lone Navy ship in the area. Reportedly, this frigate, the _H.M.S. Surprise_ has gradually taken on quite a bit of prize money for itself, but it's stopped for some unknown reason in the Galapagos Islands off the coast of Ecuador.

Sparrow grinned when he heard this, and all Barbossa said was "Arr." Jack looked more malicious than both of them combined.

----

June 28

Arrived at the Galapagos. We docked at a long, thin island, where it's only about a ten mile walk to scout out the ship on the other side.

The _Surprise_ was all that we could expect… Small, a bit war-damaged, and very much alone. Besides that, about half the crew was on shore leave, more intent on their games of cricket than anything else. The only unfortunate part was that another privateer ship stole our hiding place. Her name was the _Acheron_, and she claimed first dibs on the _Surprise_.

Sparrow and Barbossa gave way with surprising ease and ordered us to sail a distance away.

"Sirs?" I asked.

"Don't you know what we're about, Admiral?" Sparrow shot back. "Just waiting for the fighting to be done… then we'll pick off the winner, who will no doubt be very, very wounded from the battle."

Really, I should have known. "The _Acheron_ looks like it can take that frigate."

Sparrow nodded. "And we'll take the _Acheron_."

"I don't think you understand me, Captain. We can't _do_ that; not only is it dishonorable, but it's illegal as well."

"Not if we don't get caught," he replied in a sing-songy voice.

Barbossa nodded. "For once, the captains are in agreement, and I'll have no more said about the issue… at least on the starboard side of the ship."

I glanced at Sparrow and queried, "Or the larboard?"

"Or the larboard."

"Well, then… yes, Sirs."


	4. The Prisoner

**Disclaimer/Summary:** See first chapter.

**A/N:** Mouse – Sorry for any abuse James is suffering… but he's not _that_ badly off.

The Prisoner

July 21

As usual, the Captains' scheme didn't fall into place as they had hoped. Both the _Acheron_ and the _Surprise_ were damaged, to be sure. Unfortunately, the _Surprise_ took the _Acheron_, and together they limped to the South.

By this point, the captains, dead set on taking their cargo, ordered us to follow them all the way to Valparaiso. "Valparaiso isn't equipped to repair these ships," I observed, eyeing the small town after we docked the _Pearl_ as a merchant vessel.

"Not as though they have much choice, is it?" Sparrow shot back. "This is the Pacific Ocean, after all."

I snorted, feeling conspicuous in our large ship with its black sails. I had little doubt that we set a record in Valparaiso with our three ships sitting in a row. I took out my spyglass and pointed it in the direction of the _Surprise_. I saw many glasses pointed back. "I think the Captains are wanting to speak to you two Captains."

"We'll attend to them directly," Barbossa said with a smirk. He glanced at the drunken Sparrow, who was staggering around the deck making strange hand motions. "Or at least… I will. Come along, Jack."

The monkey bounded onto his shoulder.

----

July 22

According to a cursory inspection made by Cpt. Barbossa, neither ship has much worth stealing. Even the privateer was more concerned with chasing the _Surprise_ than doing any pillaging.

"Worthless," Sparrow muttered.

"Not entirely," Barbossa said. "They do have one resource for us… Not one you'll care about, but one that may interest our first mate."

I perked up. "Is this about my request for a ship's surgeon?"

"Aye, it is. The _Surprise_ boasts a fine one, from what the crew says. And it should be an easy job to kidnap him, as he's spending much time inland – sometimes alone, but otherwise with only a big dumb servant and a one-armed boy."

It didn't take them long to decide that I ought to lead the mission to capture him and press him into service, so I got into the rowboat and headed for shore, choosing Mullroy and Murtogg to accompany me. They aren't the brightest in the world, but they did serve under me in the Royal Navy, so I trust them more than most of the pirates on the _Pearl_.

Now that I think about it: What are they doing here?

----

Some time into the evening, we found the doctor, who, I must add, did not seem to perturbed by our presence, at least at first. "The animal life in Chile lacks variety," he told us before we even had a chance to open our mouths. "At least in comparison to other South American countries. Still, it is not devoid of interesting specimens."

I suddenly wondered whether the gun in my hand would be at all necessary. "Oh?"

"Have any of you ever seen a llama, gentlemen?"

"Well… no, actually." Mullroy and Murtogg shook their heads and lowered their swords, no doubt musing over llamas.

"Neither had I until my arrival here." He pointed at a herd of long-necked, wooly animals lazily wandering about a pasture. "But my real hope is to see one of the deer of the genus _Hippocamelus_."

My companions nodded as though they understood, and I decided it was time to take charge of the conversation. "A worthy goal, I'm sure, but not one with immediate application."

"You sound just like Captain Aubrey. Are all seamen the same, I wonder? Perhaps I should assign a scientific classification to them… _Homo Sapiens Nautae_."

I sighed and stuck my gun to his head. "Would you kindly shut up and come with me, doctor?"

"Well, certainly." He held up a wooden cage containing a monkey. "Would you mind if I brought this along?"

Yes, I most certainly did mind. Then an idea sprang to mind. To my great delight, I realized that I was finally able to kill a monkey without fear of repercussions and proceeded to do so.

Mullroy and Murtogg looked sick. The doctor made no further reference to animals.


	5. Dr Maturin

**Disclaimer/Summary:** See first chapter.

**A/N:** Mouse – Still my only reviewer so far… Thanks again. :)

Dr. Maturin

July 23

Our new doctor's name is Stephen Maturin. He's a thin, freckled Irishman with a predilection for speaking his mind. If I was still in the Navy and he was a surgeon on _my_ ship, I would have broken him of that habit. Alas, this was not the case.

The best thing I can say for him is that he appears to take his job as a physician very seriously. "I'm going to be making several changes around here," he informed me as I kept Barbossa's head still for a tooth extraction.

"General hygiene, for one thing. Diet for another." He yanked the completely blackened tooth and held it up for my inspection. "It's like this ship's entire crew have dedicated themselves to reinforcing pirate stereotypes."

"We're privateers, not pirates."

Maturin shrugged. "Same thing, really."

Barbossa growled and tried to speak, but found it difficult through the pain. Then he glared at me, and I got the distinct feeling he blamed me for this operation. Hesitantly, I patted his shoulder.

August 14

We rounded Cape Horn a few days ago and are on our way back to the Caribbean. For all of us aboard (except the good doctor), it feels like going home.

August 23

We've made port in Argentina to take on fresh supplies. Maturin decided to trade several bushels of apples for limes – the better to fight scurvy, he says. Barbossa v. angry.

August 31

Drunken row aboard the _Pearl_. After it died down, the doctor tipped all of the rum over the side. Crew aghast.

September 2

The entire crew is undeniably sober and v. angry at Maturin. Incessant cries of "But why is the rum gone?" keep drifting up from the captains' quarters.

Storm on the horizon, both literally and figuratively.

September 6

We just made it through the aforementioned storm. Toward the end of it, though, a broken beam fell on Jack's head causing a "severely depressed fracture of the scull" as Maturin puts it. He says he's treated many a similar injury, but with an admittedly low survival rate.

Even Barbossa's starting to look worried.


	6. Loyalty

Disclaimer/Summary: See first chapter

**Disclaimer/Summary:** See first chapter.

**A/N:** Mouse – Yeah, by this point, they must care for each other a little, despite what they pretend.

Loyalty

September 7

Maturin operated on Jack yesterday. He isn't dead yet, but he hasn't moved or said anything, either.

September 9

This morning we were greeted with cries of "But why is the rum gone?" Looks like Jack'll make it. Maturin felt sorry for Jack and fed him a dose of laudanum, in absence of rum.

September 12

We've spotted a frigate off our stern. Everyone agrees it's most probably the _Surprise_. Maturin is especially hopeful, though he concedes that he would miss Cotton's parrot and the undead monkey if rescued.

September 14

Sparrow playing game with _Surprise._ Allows them to get short and then bolts on ahead. He seems to be enjoying it, even if the rest of us are not.

I suppose he'll lose them in the long run. The _Pearl_ is quite fast, after all, and the captains have decided that since the doctor saved Sparrow's life, we have to keep him. Doctor v. annoyed and regretting successful operation.

September 15

Lost a game of poker.

September 16

Storm repairs complete. The carpenters say we've all but run out off good wood, and next time we face a similar storm, we'd better be close enough to land to get some more.

September 18

The _Surprise_ is still dogging us, staying right on our tails. Sparrow is growing tired of his little game and says if we can't outdistance them in two days, we'll turn about and drive them off. Dr. Maturin was understandably alarmed at this, and cornered me to solicit my help.

"You were a member of the Royal Navy," he said. "The other crew members said so. How can you possibly fire on one of England's ships now?"

"_England_ abandoned me whenever it was convenient. I've never had that problem here."

"Oh, I see. A tragic back-story." He scowled at me. "Well, I have a back-story, too, and while I was not always loyal to England, I have always stood by my friends. Isn't there anyone you feel that way about?"

I thought of my one-time fiancé, Elizabeth Turner, nee Swann. Unless she somehow found the Fountain of Youth herself, she was probably long dead. But I always loved her, and I would have done anything to protect her, regardless of duty. "There was."

"So, you have no sense of devotion to anyone here, I trust? After all, what honor is there amongst thieves?"

I pursed my lips and considered what he was asking of me. After a long pause, I replied, "Yes, they are thieves, but sometimes… at very rare times… they can be very good men. I'm sorry, but I must stand by my captains and my fellow crewmembers."

"I'm sorry, too," Stephen replied, "for when Jack and the others come to rescue me, I doubt they will show any mercy to my captors."

"I understand." That said, I locked Dr. Maturin in the brig until we resolved the situation with the _H.M.S. Surprise_. He hasn't said a word to me since.


	7. Epilogue

Disclaimer/Summary: See first chapter

**Disclaimer/Summary:** See first chapter.

**A/N:** Yea! Another reviewer!

Epilogue

September 19

Jail brake. Apparently, Maturin convinced Jack (the monkey, mind you) to bring him the keys… Which is one reason I think animals should not be allowed on this vessel.

After that, it was simply a matter of sneaking up to the main deck, knocking out our not-so-watchful watch and stealing one of our rowboats. I just hope nothing else is missing.

Later:

Something else is missing, all right. Jack's compass. I suppose Maturin just snatched it for good measure. I think I've changed my mind about doctors, and additions to the ship's crew in general. We're better off without them.

Time to go. We have a Navy ship to track down.


End file.
